My son and I went for a hike yesterday morning. No wind (!), very mild temps and cloudy. He is having a tough time relating with some family members back east and wondering why. After walking and listening to him it was hard truth time.

It is tough when family members prefer an older and weaker version of you. Growth can be intimidating to others- even if one doesn't say a word. Mere presence may be seen as a rebuke or a challenge. * And maybe it is on some level if there is stagnation and fear of growth with specific family members back east. This is where the cultural and political differences show up in attitude, agency and aspiration.

It is a conundrum as often ones choices are limited. Sometimes you can only pick one. Do you be right in the relationship? Or be close? Or do you first do no harm and thus the relationship can be inert.

The geographic distance also makes these times harder with family members. But it is the internal distance through growth- living on a grand scale in...