Michael Malice
Politics • Culture • Writing
We are here for the sick burns and the LULZ.
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I'm getting into the minivan with my son after grocery shopping with him, when I tell him "Hey. While you were in the bathroom, I was checking out the groceries, and the old lady in line behind me says 'Hello sir, I met your son near the bathroom a moment ago. What a charming boy! He was so friendly and helpful, he gave me an item from the bottom shelf because I didn't want to bend down with my back. He's so delightful and upbeat!'" I'm sorta blushing, going on about him with her, but I don't tell him that. Instead I just say "You're a good kid, I'm proud of you. I don't care how much you annoy your mom or sisters, you're gonna grow up just fine." He says "Thanks, dad. I love you!" I say "I love you too!" and think, y'know, maybe I did pretty well with this fatherhood thing.

Then he says "Hey on the way home, can we listen to that 'all my niggas Nazis, nigga heil Hitler' song again?" And I reconsider a little bit.

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November 05, 2025
Larry took your questions!
00:19:44
September 10, 2025
roseanne took your questions!
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i cant believe this is real
00:02:30

Fuck you amazon.

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Truly trying to understand the person who would put this bumper sticker on their car.

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