I love living in a non-shithole country, where I can buy fireworks at Costco alongside my $5 rotisserie chicken. We'll still purchase some of the big stuff from one of the many local fireworks stands that have popped up the past week.

I enlisted the help of my children to line our driveway with 250 American flags. Still waiting on my patriotic t-shirts to all arrive. 🇺🇸