I only drink when my wife gets angry and/or sad about something. But she's always angry and/or sad about something, especially my drinking.
Climate change caused these volcanoes to erupt! If it hadn't been so damn nice outside (no hurricanes during the most prolific hurricane time of year & moderate temps in Houston in mid September), we wouldn't have been outside enjoying the backyard. I can't wait to teach my 10yr old the chemical formula for the reaction...