FTR, I fucking hate the video game Earthbound.
TIL the main character Ness, is explicitly named to mimic the original console, NES.
Because his Japanese name was Ninten.
I hate this series EVEN MORE.
And the thing is, I'm a sucker for anything with psychic powers in it, so you'd think purely for the fact that it's not a magic fire spell, it's a psychokinetic fire ability, that alone ought to pop my boner, but NO. HARD NO.
This game isn't funny, or clever, or whimsical, or emotional. It's gay. Period. Status effects include "getting a cold," and "being homesick," which is cured by "calling momma on the phone." GAY. Kill a monster for money? Oh no, that actually went straight through direct deposit to your bank account. If you wanted to buy something at the store, WASTE EXTRA TIME HITTING UP THE ATM. GAY.

The only redeeming value this game ever had was Ness royally, trollingly, kicking ass with panache in Smash Bros 64, but that's nearly a coincidence. Ok fine, double points for Lucas in Smash Brawl. Fuck this series and its fan base and I will die on this hill.